A week ago I heard a client say ‘I don’t want to cry because I may not stop’. Another said ‘I have to be strong and keep myself going for my children and my family’.
I suggested to her that ‘its alright to cry and release emotions of fear, pain, frustration, hurt ,sadness and anger’. ‘Its healing and tears release toxins from the body’. I thought to myself later, I haven’t cried in many months! I focus on the positive and practice meditation and exercise daily and when I miss my children and grandchildren and friends I call or Facetime but today I just gave in. The next day I found myself communicating with a loved one and expressing how I felt hurt by her insensitivity, she dismissed and did not apologize. I started to cry with sadness, anger, hurt and then the gates were open and I couldn’t stop crying. I felt so alone.
I was to meet a friend for lunch that day and warned her ahead of time that my eyes were red and I that couldn’t stop crying. She greeted me and we hugged even though we should have been social distancing. It felt so good to hug. I missed it so much. I felt vulnerable and as we spoke over lunch we cried and laughed. The human connection felt so good. While still feeling vulnerable and tearful I texted a dear friend and told him that I needed his shoulder to cry on. He met me and as I lay against his shoulder in the parking lot where we met, I felt his chest releasing emotion too, maybe he was missing the tenderness . My eyes were red so I wore sunglasses as we walked to an outdoor cafe. The tears kept coming but my friend gave me space to talk or maintain quiet and I appreciated that. The bartender was wearing a mask but I could see compassion in the his eyes,maybe he was feeling similar emotions. later a waitress and I spoke about how she cried all day the other day and I began to feel connected and not so alone and vulnerable. COVID started in March and it was October- 7 months of social distancing, fear of the unknown and a new normal which hadn’t felt normal to me on some level and I was feeling sad , angry, confused and vulnerable about it. My tears and vulnerabilty brought human connection, compassion, honesty, connection and a release of emotions that I had been unconsciously pushing down for many months.
According to Sharon Martin , a licensed psychotherapist in a private practice in San Jose, Calif., suggests there are many advantages to having a good cry. “I encourage crying because it purges negative energy and allows for new, positive energy to fill us up.
So go ahead and cry maybe it will make you feel better and will allow you to feel less alone and more connected to yourself and others. Be well.