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Counseling, Therapy, & Life Coaching
by Innovative Counseling Services Inc.
for Individuals, Couples, Children, and Families
Counseling, Therapy & Life Coaching by Dr. Jean Pollack

Are You Afraid to Cry Because You May Not Stop?

A week ago I heard a client say ‘I don’t want to cry because I may not stop’.  Another said ‘I have to be strong and keep myself going for my children and my family’.

I suggested to her that ‘its alright to cry and release emotions of fear, pain, frustration, hurt ,sadness and anger’. ‘Its healing and tears release toxins from the body’.  I thought to myself later, I haven’t cried in many  months! I focus on the positive and practice meditation and exercise daily and when I miss my children and grandchildren and friends I call or Facetime but today I just gave in.  The next day I found myself communicating with a loved one and expressing how I felt hurt by her insensitivity, she dismissed and did not apologize. I started to cry with sadness, anger, hurt and then the gates were open and I couldn’t stop crying. I felt so alone. 

 I was to meet a friend for lunch that day and warned her ahead of time that my eyes were red and I that couldn’t stop crying. She greeted me and we hugged even though we should have been social distancing. It felt so good to hug. I missed it so much. I felt vulnerable and as we spoke over lunch we cried and laughed. The human connection felt so good. While still feeling vulnerable and tearful I texted a dear friend and told him that I needed his shoulder to cry on. He met me and as I lay against  his shoulder in the parking lot where we met, I felt his chest releasing emotion too, maybe he was missing the tenderness . My eyes were red so I wore sunglasses as we walked to an outdoor cafe.  The tears kept coming but my friend gave me space to talk or maintain quiet and I appreciated that. The bartender was wearing a mask but I could see compassion in the his eyes,maybe he was feeling similar emotions. later a waitress and I spoke about how she cried all day the other day and I began to feel connected and not so alone and vulnerable. COVID started in March and it was October- 7  months of social distancing, fear of the unknown and a new normal which hadn’t felt normal to me on some level and I was feeling sad , angry, confused and vulnerable about it. My tears and vulnerabilty brought human connection, compassion, honesty, connection and a release of emotions that I had been unconsciously pushing down for many months.

According to Sharon Martin , a licensed psychotherapist in a private practice in San Jose, Calif., suggests there are many advantages to having a good cry. “I encourage crying because it purges negative energy and allows for new, positive energy to fill us up.

https://www.medicaldaily.com/cry-it-out-6-surprising-health-benefits-shedding-few-tears-333952

So go ahead and cry maybe it will make you feel better and will allow you to feel less alone and more connected to yourself and others. Be well.