Innovative Counseling Services Inc.

Do you have relationship problems?

Most of the couples that I see want to improve their communication. Many or most have regressed into a pattern of ongoing avoidance and/or resentment that causes them to feel alienated from each other. How does this happen?Avoiding conflict, thinking it will go away doesn’t work. Fear of addressing small conflicts can result in a build up of resentment, blame and unhappiness which grows over time.

Not expressing true feelings to each other creates a sense of distrust and impairs communication.

Not telling your partner how you feel and what you need and instead expecting… Continue reading →

A week ago I heard a client say ‘I don’t want to cry because I may not stop’.  Another said ‘I have to be strong and keep myself going for my children and my family’.

I suggested to her that ‘its alright to cry and release emotions of fear, pain, frustration, hurt ,sadness and anger’. ‘Its healing and tears release toxins from the body’.  I thought to myself later, I haven’t cried in many  months! I focus on the positive and practice meditation and exercise daily and when I miss my children and grandchildren and friends I call or Facetime… Continue reading →

Many people who have lived with or been in a relationship with a narcissist find themselves emotionally drained and confused. They become confused about how to feel or how to respond to the narcissist’s demands, incongruences, bullying and his/her need for constant attention and approval. The narcissistic person demonstrates a pattern of  ongoing relentless manipulation for the sheer enjoyment of seeing or hearing a reaction. Ignoring them deflates them.

‘The narcissist makes decisions for others to suit his/her own needs. The narcissist may use his or her romantic partner, child, friend, or colleague to meet unreasonable self-serving needs, fulfill… Continue reading →

Einstein once remarked that significant problems cannot be solved at the same level of the thinking which created them. Only by rising to a higher or deeper level can an ultimate solution to psychological problems be found.

Journaling and healing therapies such as EMDR meet the need for a deeper level of ultimate solution to psychological problems. You have to feel good and have energy to explore these options so I also recommend two simple integrative medicine techniques to prepare yourself for further exploration of ongoing conflicts or unresolved small or large traumas.

These two things are very simple: a… Continue reading →